skills

Successful mentoring relationships happen when both parties have the same expectations and a route in place to get there. This means the early setting of ground rules; both parties must understand what their mentoring relationship is expected to achieve and set boundaries for time and behaviour expectations. A good mentor can share information, support the mentee, and encourage them to develop their own views. The mentor should be able to give advice and guidance to assist the mentee with clarifying their ideas and reaching the goals set. 

The mentor/mentee relationship is a two-way process that succeeds when the parties have mutual respect and can listen and develop trust to establish a productive two-way dialogue. The mentee must be able to contribute substantially to create a mutually beneficial relationship. However, conflicts within mentoring relationships can happen. After all, you have two individuals that, without successful boundary setting, could have very different expectations of what the mentoring partnership should achieve.

Areas that may cause mentoring conflict

• Cancelling or postponing meetings – one party is not fully committed to scheduled meetings, which leads to resentment, and the relationship can quickly break down.
• Wanting more time investment – where the parties have different need levels. Meeting schedules can seem excessive to the other party, leading to conflict if it doesn’t settle.
• Excessive expectation or over-dependence – a mentor can expect the mentee to become a clone and overload them with information and expectations. The mentee may also expect more direction and support than is reasonable or become overly reliant on mentor approval. Mentors may also excessively seek mentee validation, not allowing the mentee to develop their path.  
• Lack of responsibility or manipulation – the mentee may hide behind the mentor and not take responsibility for their decisions or actions, blaming the mentor because they took their suggestion. Mentors may overly manipulate the mentee to carry out their workload in the name of learning.
• The wrong pairing – sometimes, the mentor/mentee relationship is simply a matter of wrong pairing. Learning styles, experiences or expectations don’t align sufficiently to benefit either party.

Overcoming mentoring relationship challenges

1. Set clear boundaries on time and expected outcomes for the relationship. Results must be measurable so both parties know when the job is done. Set behaviour boundaries that must be observed regardless of conflict.
2. Mentors need to understand the role and limitations they have as a mentor. Mentorship training is worthwhile, as the skills required for effective mentoring go beyond job knowledge. A mentor needs to be able to pass on their skills to others.
3. Identify whether the conflict results from behavioural or personality problems requiring different resolution approaches.
4. View conflict as an issue of joint responsibility to avoid the blame game.
5. Recognise when mismatched personality issues, such as the mentee’s over-confidence or the mentor’s domination, make the relationship unworkable.
6. Accept that some issues may require outside mediation if no suitable conclusion can be reached. 

Mentoring relationships should be a positive experience for both parties, and when they work well, both the mentor and mentee will grow. Handling conflict is another lesson on the path to successful mentoring partnerships.

Whether you are new to a leadership position or have been a team leader for several years, it can sometimes be difficult to work out exactly what being a good, authentic leader might mean. It is all too easy to fall back on the assumption that an authentic leader is someone who is confident, assertive and inspirational. Research suggests that authentic leadership is something that serves as an indicator of organisational commitment. Plus, employee job satisfaction and happiness in the workplace. For any leader who wants to get the best out of their team, it is vital that they show their authenticity as a leader. 

Authentic leadership 

This is a management style where leaders are self-aware, genuine and, above all, transparent. An authentic leader is one who inspires trust and loyalty. They do so by displaying their own genuine personality and how they feel about the performance of their employees. 

Improving your authenticity

There are four elements of Authentic Leadership Theory. These are:

Self-awareness 

It is critical for a leader to have a strong sense of their own strengths, weaknesses, values and their own self. When a leader understands their own strengths, they demonstrate to their team that there is nothing to hide. This creates trust within the team. Being self-aware also allows a leader to grow as a person. Plus, it helps to strengthen other skills in order to do the best job possible. It is not a weakness to be able to admit when something wasn’t done to the best of your abilities. 

Relational transparency

Subtle messaging, passive aggression and feedback that is convoluted. These are all things that have no place in leadership. If a leader wants to be truly authentic, then they need to be genuine, honest and straightforward. Let them know when there have been mistakes. Also, tell them when they have done a good job. This will help a team to be successful. What a team need to see in their leader is the type of behaviour that the leader wants to see from them. Leading by example is really important.

Balanced processing

A good leader needs to be able to make decisions, and then remain true to their decisions even when there is opposition. When it comes to important decisions, it is important to seek alternative opinions. Plus, ensure that you are open to discussions. If you want to be a really authentic leader, then it is important that you make an environment where employees feel encouraged and safe when it comes to their opinions. This links back to self-awareness. You need to be sufficiently self-aware in order to accept that your opinion may not be complete. When you collect feedback from others you will be able to identify possible weaknesses in your own argument. 

Internalised moral perspective or the ability to “Do the right thing”

Putting the needs of the company and customers first is of paramount importance. An authentic leader needs to focus on doing the right thing to achieve long-term success. Integrity and strong ethical values are important, and an authentic leader should not be tempted to take shortcuts.